The Bling King or my day with the 170 carat (diamonds) VC Kallania

« Isn’t it sissyish? » was my first reaction when I was asked to wear a diamond incrusted watch for a day. “Errare humanum est” when I saw the beast! 45mm of testosterone shining like a summer sun with 186 diamonds for a total of 170 carats. Ladies and gentleman let me introduce you the Vacheron Constantin’s Kallania. 

The Bling King or my day with the 170 carat (diamonds) VC Kallania

I could already see myself on a yacht, off the coast of Miami surrounded by scantly clad demoiselles with oiled bodies dancing around me on hip hop tunes like those rappers with a bling watch on each wrist that you see on MTV.

I was starting to get in the groove and to look the part chose my coolest Prada cashmere sweat suit to wear with my watch. Unfortunately I ended up looking more like Elton John than 50 Cent The Bling King or my day with the 170 carat (diamonds) VC Kallania ….so a change in sartorial attire was de rigueur.

But what to wear with a kilo of shinning rocks on the wrist? I opted for the classical grey flannel suit, white shirt with French cuffs and a dark tie but it was very difficult to cover the watch with my shirt cuff. Not being able to do much about it I just acted natural and hoped no one would notice it at the office.

Umm… mistake! BIG MISTAKE. In the hallway leading to my office the headlights like a stroboscope in Ibiza’s Amnesia brought my 170 carat companion to life giving the impression that a source of light was beaming straight out of my arm!

That’s probably what got the attention of my boss whom without much regard called me into his office and with a disapproving look forbade me to attend any exterior meetings with clients. He was afraid that seeing the watch on my wrist they would think I was invoicing too high… bunch of cheapos if I can say so.

Color me depressed The Bling King or my day with the 170 carat (diamonds) VC Kallania I was dressed like a God looking like a trillionaire and all I got was amused looks from my colleagues who actually avoided me at lunch break where I ate alone. What a bunch of tasteless rednecks who don’t know how to appreciate the finer things in life.

My day was really not going as I had expected, but there was no way I was to admit defeat. I decided to go home and adopt the “style”: baggy jeans, a T shirt 5 times too big, Air Jordans and a few chains around my neck and headed straight to the coolest night club in town (the one where I never got in because each time there was a private evening, a natural disaster or some other lame excuse).

This time the guy at the door pushed away the more plebeian clientele amassed in front of the entry to let me in. The waiters got rid of some losers in the VIP section so I could have a huge table. No sooner was I seated that the magnum of Crystal was flowing in the champagne glasses and tight skinned demoiselles with short skirts and oiled bodies were flocking around me. WOW I tell you my friends since last night I have decided to change jobs. This morning I have an appointment with some of my new friends to produce their 1st album….or did I say that I was photographer for Vogue…hmmm hazy memory… probably too much champagne, or was it tequila? Anyway good bye stuck up corporate world, a new artistic career awaits me and believe me it’s good to be da king…da Bling King. 

The Bling King or my day with the 170 carat (diamonds) VC Kallania
02/09/2009 - 22:23
02/09/2009 - 22:48
02/09/2009 - 22:52
02/10/2009 - 00:20
02/10/2009 - 02:37
02/10/2009 - 06:11
02/10/2009 - 11:37
02/10/2009 - 14:17
02/11/2009 - 11:49
hilarious; loved every word. You got talent (nt)
02/09/2009 - 20:59
Talk Like a Rapper...
02/09/2009 - 22:23
Yo Alex checkin out da fly hunnies with muh fortay and da bling in muh hand yo...gotta get to it know what im sayin. Its off the chain peep this outta here if you know what im sayin yo
Re: The Bling King or my day with the 170 carat (diamonds) VC Kallania
02/09/2009 - 22:43
Alex, Very very funny! Every time I see a picutre of that watch, or see it in person as I did at the VC get together,  one question comes to mind-Why? Also, I hate to point out a fashion faux pas but shouldn't you have gone with a white gold necklace for your medallion? Ray ;)
02/09/2009 - 22:48
can I do background vocals on your first CD (I did record my own CD once)? or even better be an assistant photographer to learn the job? I wanna get all that booooooooty, too BTW, I am happy to find out my SIHH picture was a true inspiration... ain't pimping a hard job, Alex?
Oh... my.... God !!!!!
02/09/2009 - 22:52
Very funny story indeed especially the part at the office. I must say this VC looks so awful. And I have to agree with Ray, WHYYYY ?
You look just gorgeus, Alex!
02/10/2009 - 00:20
You must feel the looks people really throws on you, like arrows and how they have to put on there sunglasses, not to hurt their eyes Man about town Personally I prefer it on women, but that's a question of life style I'm more for a simple one , diamonds and white gold, made of a old jewler, that made many pices for a certain Fabergé... That's what a true gentlman gives his wife, for long and loveful companionship through a long marriage  Doc
A very tasteful and lovely piece, Doc
02/10/2009 - 08:59
Perhaps at some point we should have a thread where we share "greatest hits" of jewelry given to our spouses -- might inspire VC on some slightly more subtle jeweled pieces? Of course, as I'm wearing the same YG OS DT favored in a recent magazine by a famous rapper, I shouldn't talk -- although it should be noted that unlike me he was wearing a giant diamond bracelet on the same wrist... Best, GaryG
Neither I, who own this,
02/10/2009 - 10:20
and have used at several occasions Hej Doc
It is so YOU!!!!
02/10/2009 - 02:37
Okay, maybe not but the "report" was damn funny.  I'll now refer to you as "Pimpy G". Btw, you might want to check on your hand gesture...   Cheers, Duncan
Alex; next time.............
02/10/2009 - 03:49
can you stand behind the girls?  Or maybe out of the picture entirely! Best regards, Tom
Yo A-G: you the BOMB! :-) (nt)
02/10/2009 - 04:25
OMG! There goes the neighborhood...
02/10/2009 - 05:40

Seriously, You da Man, Alex!!! There's no doubting who is King of this neighborhood. Thanks for making my day, Jefe! Kazumi

Already home but still LOL!
02/10/2009 - 17:25
Will definitely save a copy of the last pic to cheer me up after a hard day's work (or to show your grandchildren what their grandpa was really like in his prime). Still can't thank you enough for making my day! Hail to the Chief! Kazumi
The shirt is out!
02/10/2009 - 06:11
You must wear something which can show off your muscular biceps and hairy chest.  Then, the chicks behind will jump on you.  Only VC, that may not be enough. From the way you write, your job in legal profession is a waste of talent. Regards Ling
Re: The Bling King or my day with the 170 carat (diamonds) VC Kallania
02/10/2009 - 06:22
Very funny article, Alex! Diamonds are a guys best friend. The last pic should have been you smiling with a diamond tooth sparkling away! Whoa!! and those women?? Was that a contest for the "Best six-pack on a female torso" ...or what?! They could all probably bounce a 2 euro piece off their abs! Joseph
I always wondered what one would wear with that hat...
02/10/2009 - 08:56 I know!  Hilarious. Best, GaryG
Love the green hat (nt)
02/10/2009 - 11:37
You made my day Alex!
02/10/2009 - 14:17
Funny Alex, finding the right tune... What a pity that you are hiding a part of these nice girls! You should have stood up on the last step and have all these girls at your feet ...
Re: The Bling King or my day with the 170 carat (diamonds) VC Kallania
02/10/2009 - 16:16
yo man giva as a beat   1)i think that i would prefer the background of the real elegand photo   2)you just prove me that it is very difficult to wear this watch because i wil have everyday problem "what are we wearing for today"    so the overal conclusion is that i wil make my hart rock and give up the idea of buy the watch p.s i realy believe that the day you wear the watch mast real afraid about your arm vassilis
Your talent is wasted if you don't become a writer, fantastic read :-)
02/10/2009 - 17:27
definately a screen writer ! (nt)
02/11/2009 - 10:18
Alex G is in da house. Bro you should put this in the Recommended
02/10/2009 - 18:00
Threads section. I have read and re read your article 5 times and am still laughing my a... off
Has anyone thought how much 170 carat is?
02/10/2009 - 18:03
1 carat weights 0.2 gram, which means these diamonds weights just 34 gram. Plus some platinum, I guess for the application. So it can't have been especially heavy, or did it fel so, Alex, depending of the value? Was it CHF 800.000? One cigarette, withoth filter weights 1 gram....a package about 25 gram. This little Vacheron&Constantin from 1948 weights 40 gram. Just look at those lugs Hej! Doc
we're talking about 300 g and a 7 figure price tag!!!!! (nt)
02/10/2009 - 18:17
Must be a heavy movement than,
02/10/2009 - 21:30
 , and lot's of platinum, of course there is some weight. Did you know that it was during the Art Deco, they started using platinum, mainly beause it was so strong, and most of all, descreete metal, to hold the diamonds and other stones, without being seen Because it is so strong and they could use so little of it so it just wasn't visible, it were the precious stomes that should be seen! Because of it's rarity it became a metal of prestige! That was the time when they combined gold, bakelit and glass with, platinum, gold and iron! And we raise our eyebrows, when watchmakers combines straps in rubber with gold! History, as always, tell us that nothing is new under the sun Take care my friend Doc
Would you introduce me to your friends in the back ,
02/10/2009 - 20:41
Thanks in advance, Berny
02/11/2009 - 11:49
Your second life ! Enjoy ! Hilarous ! Deniz
Great write up of your day with some serious Bling!
02/11/2009 - 21:28
Still from the wrist shot at the beginning of the article, even though its a large watch, it reminds me of a ladies bracelet.  However, I'm sure it was fun to wear such a flashy watch for a day.   Best regards, and thanks for sharing your Bling-fest day with us. Dino
Finally enough bling even for...
02/12/2009 - 17:30
Luca :-) Now all you need is a matching Pinky Ring! Miki