Some week end fun

not watch related but hey.... its good to have a good laugh once in a while...

The exchange between Churchill & Lady Astor: She said
"If you were my husband I'd give you poison,"
and he said, "If you were my wife, I'd drink it."

A member of Parliament to Disraeli:
"Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease."
"That depends, Sir," said Disraeli, "whether I embrace your policies or your mistress."

"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire."
- Winston Churchill

"A modest little person, with much to be modest about."
- Winston Churchill

"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it."
- Moses Hadas

"He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know."
- Abraham Lincoln

"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it."
- Mark Twain

"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends."
- Oscar Wilde

"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend.... if you have one."
- George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill
"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second... if there is one."
- Winston Churchill, in response.

"I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here."
- Stephen Bishop

"He is a self-made man and worships his creator."
- John Bright

"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial."
- Irvin S. Cobb

"He is not only dull himself, he is the cause of dullness in others."
- Samuel Johnson

"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up."
- Paul Keating

"There's nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't cure."
- Jack E. Leonard

"He has the attention span of a lightning bolt."
- Robert Redford

"They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge."
- Thomas Brackett Reed

"In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily."
- Charles, Count Talleyrand

"He loves nature in spite of what it did to him."
- Forrest Tucker

"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?"
- Mark Twain

"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork."
- Mae West

"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go."
- Oscar Wilde

"He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... for support rather than illumination."
- Andrew Lang

"He has Van Gogh's ear for music."
Billy Wilder

"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it."
- Groucho Marx

Some are well known, some others...
08/01/2008 - 19:30

I like the 2nd and the 9th, among other.


Re: Some week end fun
08/01/2008 - 23:32

Do not know who said it but my favorite is "In a battle of wits he comes unarmed."

Good weekend to all!

LOL! Some of them are pretty good...
08/02/2008 - 16:18

here are (less witty) actual facts on Chuck Norris:

-Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean. -Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried. -Chuck Norris once shot a German plane down with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!" -Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits. -The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris' fist. -If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever. -If you make a list of 10 things Chuck Norris cannot do, he will appear at your house and perform them all. Your life may be forfeit. -Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies the possibility of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing. -Chuck Norris can slam revolving doors. -When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes ever. -Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants. -Chuck Norris has counted to infinity. Twice. -There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live. -Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding. -When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down. I said, less witty...

LOL - I love quotes!
08/03/2008 - 22:28

Thanks Alex! I love great quotes, especially the nasty ones